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37. You Don’t “Like” To-Douche List on Facebook

Deductive reasoning would hold that if you don’t “Like” To-Douche List on Facebook, you are either a stuffy geriatric who doesn’t have a Facebook account or one of the List’s many douchey subjects.

If you’re not with us you’re against us.  Get on the bus, gus.


9. Post Facebook Updates About Your Workout

Listen man.  When you’re shredding at the gym, people want to know about it.

Check in at your locker.

Check in at spin class.

Check in at the elliptical. (Wait, ellipticals are for girls).

Check in at the chest press machine.

Check in from your yoga mat.  (Wait, don’t tell people you go to yoga).

Check in from the gym mirror while you flex and look seductively at yourself.

Check in from the mountain top on your epic run route.

Check in from your protein powder creatine-infused HGH wheatgrass shake.

And while you’re cooling down, summarize it all in a Facebook post!

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